Asia Style, Glasgow

Another day another dark, rainy mid-week journey to Scotland. I love Glasgow but it can be a bit dismal in November. For some reason I was craving noodles, only they would brighten my day.

Search for 'noodles Glasgow M8' and chances are you'll end up at Asia Style (actually that's lies, you'll probably end up at somewhere called Ichiban, but Asia Style must have entered my conciousness somehow 'cos it only took me two minutes to recall its existence and locate it), a casual Chinese Malaysian place close to Charing Cross station just off the motorway.

I was hoping they might serve me a decent laksa, my last such experience being a bit underwhelming. At least they had roti canai, sneakily hidden on the menu under the description 'Malaysian pancake'. Roti canai, done well, are marvellous. Crisp, flakey layered eggy breads of utter deliciousness; like the buttery bastard child of the finest paratha and a wayward croissant, dipped in curry sauce. Oh yes.

Sadly this one was a bit rubbish, cooked too quickly too hot, rendering the edges charred but the interior lumpen and unflaked, grease permeating the whole. I still loved it in a sordid, sweaty fried bread kind of way though, that is if you ate curry with your fried bread. Which you probably should.

Curry laksa this time, I would have had assam but they didn't do one. I'm no expert on Malaysian food, but I think curry laksa should include seafood and tofu, but I'm not really sure in what sort of ratio. This one was ten parts tofu to one part seafood. One big prawn, three fish balls and several kilos of spongey tofu and the weird vegetarian tripe that is beancurd skin.

I'm yet to learn to love tofu. I'm really trying, but it's just not working. The texture is always wrong, be it spongey or squishy or slippery or chewy. Consequently eating this was a bit of a chore. The curry broth was ok, nothing special though, as were the noodles (which were the thick yellow mee variety).

I can't quite decide whether this was rubbish, or just not to my tastes. I'd just driven for four hours in a torrential downpour so my brain was frazzled when I ate it so it's hard to say for sure. On the plus side it's cheap and cheerful, and copious quantities of Chinese tea are proffered free of charge. It's open late so maybe go when you're pissed.

6/10

185-189 St George's Road
Glasgow
G3 6JD

Taco Mazama, Glasgow

I usually eat splendidly when I visit Scotland's number one city (get over it Edinburgh). Take a look through my other posts labelled Glasgow and you'll see what I mean.

Last week I didn't. I'm not sure why I'm bothering to write about this really, another boring burrito is hardly exciting news. Probably because I like to whinge.

Here's that boring burrito, or rice sandwich as I'm renaming it. No-one really wants a rice sandwich do they? Especially when the rice is overcooked verging on mushy.

For balance I should point out that there was some beef and other stuff in there too, which was quite nice when you chanced on it. But why it cost an extra quid for the barbacoa shredded beef I'm not entirely sure. Update: I've just wikipedia-ed it and apparently proper barbacoa meat is cooked in a hole in the ground covered by maguey leaves (or if you spell it differently, it's a shit Jamie Oliver restaurant in London). That explains it then.

Not nasty or inedible or anything, just six quid's worth of boring boring boring.

4/10

261 Byres Road
Glasgow

http://www.tacomazama.co.uk

Bacon Sandwich Quest: August

I'm really getting sick of this blog feature now. Why did I decide to do it? Why? Roll on December is all I can say. August was hardly a thrilling month in bacon sandwich world, but at least it wasn't as bad as July.

July really was the pits of the world. It rained too much, I didn't go on holiday anywhere less rainy and nowhere near enough bacon was involved.

August was a three sanger month. But there are only two sandwiches pictured below I hear you cry. You'd be right, I ate two of them at once, as the magnificent Buffet Box of Cumbernauld does a special breakfast offer: 2 bacon rolls and a tea or coffee for two pounds.

TWO pounds for TWO bacon sandwiches. AND a hot drink. They're small but very well formed. Similar to the offering just up the road at the Old Inns Café and plenty of other places in Scotland for that matter. Smoked bacon on a crusty-ish roll, smear of brown sauce, friendly service. These were just let down a touch by a surfeit of cheap marg.

The other one was from the café at Rivelin Valley Park in Sheffield. The bacon and bread were good here, and had it not been for some poorly drained tinned tomatoes rendering the whole thing a bit soggy, I'd have been impressed. Thick cut bacon with a mild cure, very soft fresh bread and not badly priced at £2.50 to eat in.

Four more months to go. I must and shall complete this challenge. It really hasn't turned out to be much fun though. Perhaps I should have upped the ante a little, bacon sandwiches are so 2010 what with everyone on the internet shoving bacon in any foodstuff imaginable. Ooh look at me I made a bacon trifle and it was AMAZEBALLS and just wait 'til you try my bacon and black pudding pavlova you'll go blind with pleasure.

Here's the leaderboard as if anyone were interested:

The Boathouse, Kilsyth, Scotland

If you opened a restaurant would you focus on a particular cuisine or style of cooking, then design your menus around that? If you intended to serve classic, well known dishes, would you take the time to research and understand those dishes? You might want to experiment with them, sometimes a novel take on a favourite can be a good thing, but hopefully you'd want to retain the essence of what made it a classic in the first place. A shepherd's pie isn't a shepherd's pie without the interplay between rich, gravy bound meat and smooth, buttery potato.

Or would you create a menu loosely based around every food fad and trend that's popped up over the last couple of years? Would you stick a load of renowned dishes on the menu, irrespective of whether you had any idea what made them so renowned in the first place? Sounds good, bung it on the list, they'll lap it up.

At the Boathouse you can start with cullen skink, haggis or Stornoway black pudding, but also tempura, buffalo wings or pork taquitos. There's also a list of tapas, and a specials menu where there are no starters or mains, only small and large plates.

For your main course you can choose Cajun, or Mexican, or Scottish, or American, or Indian, or French, or Italian. There's barbecue and burgers and pasta and curry. Intriguing. Could they possibly turn out such a hotchpotch of food successfully? In a word, no.

Buffalo wings for starters. Buffalo wing sauce, as two minutes research on the internet will tell you, has two ingredients. A vinegar based hot chilli sauce (Frank's being the favoured brand) and butter. At the Boathouse they forgot the butter, which is pretty slack given that it's one of only two ingredients.

Buffalo wings done right are highly addictive. Messy, crisp-skinned, hot, tangy, rich, buttery and utterly bloody delicious. If you coat your wings in something pappy, bready and tasteless, then fry them until they're not very crisp, then cover them in vinegary hot sauce but no butter, they are not utterly delicious. Far from it.

Things would improve with Toulouse sausage, chorizo and bean cassoulet wouldn't they? I was slightly concerned at the presence of chorizo, but why not I suppose. A mix and match approach to the meat content is normal with a cassoulet isn't it? It'll still be a big hearty pot of slow cooked meats and white beans.

No it won't. It'll be a watery tomato stew with a few kidney beans and chunks of cheap chorizo in it, with a sausage on top. I could have a fair guess at the cooking process and ingredients for this: chop an onion and some garlic, fry for a bit, chuck in a tin of tomatoes and a stock cube. Chuck in some bits of chorizo, some sliced mushrooms and peppers and some kidney beans. Cook for twenty minutes or so.

It wasn't unpleasant, it just was boring, half arsed and not a cassoulet. Still, at least I got some greasy toast and manky rocket as a garnish.

I had room for pudding, so thought I'd see whether the creme brulee was a creme brulee. Happily it was, and the addition of a few raspberries was a good touch. It didn't really need the accompanying ice cream but that was nice too.

Maybe I was unlucky, perhaps other things on the menu are better. Maybe their pulled pork and tandoori and tempura are the business. Sadly I doubt it very much. I just don't get places like this, various pub chains are the worst offenders, but the Boathouse is one of a group of just two.

It's probably very successful, people seem to like the cover all bases approach, there's 'plenty of choice' and 'something for everyone'.  But what's the point in having so many choices if they're not done properly or just plain rubbish?

Service was fine throughout and three courses with a glass of passable red was about £27. The hotel rooms are pleasant and good value.

3/10

Auchinstarry Marina
Kilsyth
Scotland
G65 9SG

boathousekilsyth.com

Northern Food on tour: Scotland round-up

Nothing we ate on our recent trip to Scotland was as exciting as our dinner at Wedgwood, but we didn't do badly. Here's what else we ate.

Espresso Mondo, Edinburgh

A late lunch on arrival in Edinburgh. The cafe was a bit scruffy but they had a nice line in loose leaf teas and coffee.

They made a nice brew but the food was less successful. A chicken panino with peppers, pesto and mozarella wasn't great. The chicken tasted low grade and processed and the accompanying salad was boring. Whoever decided dribbling catering pack balsamic glaze onto tortilla chips was a good idea wants sacking too. Reasonably priced for Edinburgh.

5/10

116 Lothian Road
Edinburgh
EH3 9BE


Paperino's, West End, Glasgow

After the previous night's posh dinner we decided to lower the tone a little in Glasgow. Pizza and ice cream please!

The pizzas at Paperino's were pretty good, with a decent chewy-charred crust and quality toppings. The sausage on mine was lovely, coarse and spicy with loads of fennel.

Both of them were overtopped though. There is such thing as too much cheese and sausage on a pizza, there really is. Less can be more. Still, after scraping off some of the excess they went down a treat.

It's a quick, casual place, not really somewhere to linger but worth it for the pizza, for which prices are reasonable (around the £9 mark). Mark ups on side dishes and drinks let the side down though. £2.95 doesn't sound bad for a side salad, but it's poor for a side salad consisting of not very much of nothing remotely interesting, and a pint of Peroni shouldn't cost £4.65.

7/10 if you stick to pizza and tap water. Knock a point off if salad and booze is included.

227 Byres Road
Glasgow
G12 8UD

http://www.paperinos.co.uk/





Nardini's, West End, Glasgow

Thanks (I think) to a large Italian immigrant population, many of whom set up business in the catering industry back in the day, Scotland, and Glasgow in particular is well endowed with pizza restaurants, caffs serving proper coffee and ice cream parlours.

This is a novel concept to residents of Yorkshire cities, which last time I noticed weren't particularly well stocked with ice cream parlours (If I'm wrong please do tell), so we had to follow up the pizza with a ridiculous dirty great ice cream sundae.

I can't remember the name of this, but it comprised raspberry syrup, raspberries and vanilla ice cream topped with an unfeasibly large quantity of whipped cream with three chocolate marshmallow snowballs shoved in it, and an assortment of wafers. Ace.

I think it cost about £6, but it served two with ease. Although I think I had most of it.

8/10

215 Byres Road
Glasgow
G12 8UD

http://www.nardinis.co.uk/ 




Avenue G, West End, Glasgow

Excellent coffee. A flat white was up there with those from my favourite coffee shops. Exceptionally smooth with quite a pronounced bitterness. Somehow still balanced though, delicious.

Toasted brioche was ok but slightly let down by the cheap butter and jam it was served with. The sandwiches and cakes looked very good though.

£2.20 for the flat white. Similar for tea. Cakes around £3. Table service, efficient and friendly.

8/10

291 Byres Road
Glasgow
G12 8TL

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Avenue-G-Caf%C3%A9-Glasgow/223293021018108




Curler's Rest, West End, Glasgow

I liked the look of the Curler's Rest, a tarted up pub on Byres Road. Bare wooden tables, plenty of space, a few good beers on draft, a pleasing enough but strangely familiar sounding menu.

Then I took a look at the website and discovered a new phenomenon. I'm calling it the 'stealth chain'. A pub run by a large corporation, with the same style and the same food as others run by the same large corporation. A chain pub. The difference being that said large corporation doesn't want you to know that it's a chain pub, because it's not aimed at people who like chain pubs.

I looked at the website (here it is: http://www.thecurlersrestglasgow.co.uk/food/) and immediately thought 'I've seen that before'.

Then I remembered: The Adelphi (http://www.theadelphileeds.co.uk/food/). AS thought it looked familiar too. Then she remembered: The Lescar (http://www.thelescarhuntersbar.co.uk/food/).

A couple of days later I was searching for somewhere good to eat in the vicinity of Waterloo station when I chanced upon the White Hart website: http://www.thewhitehartwaterloo.co.uk/food/.

So that's at least four not obviously chain pubs in four different cities spread over four hundred miles with virtually identical menus and the same photo of roast beef on their websites. Thanks Mitchells and Butlers you sly bastards.

Anyhow this is a subject to which I may return, but what of the food at the Curler's Rest? It started off wonderfully. After three courses with three wines, then pizza and ice cream, the last night of our break was supposed to be healthier. I accidentally couldn't resist ordering battered black pudding from the bar snacks list though. Oops.

It was worth the calories though. Nuggets of soft peppery pudding encased in a marvellously light crisp batter.

Things went rapidly downhill with the wild salmon fishcakes. They were alright, well flavoured but a bit claggy texture-wise. The accompanying salad was supposed to be little gem and beetroot, which it did contain, but not in such significant quantities as the other stuff that fell out of the salad bag (slightly slimy tasteless watercress mainly).

AS also had a salad; - halloumi, cous cous and whatnot in a spicy dressing. She liked it but it looked to be suffering from the same slimy salad affliction from where I was sitting.

We paid around £33 including a couple of alcoholic drinks each. The service was lovely.

6/10 (would have been less but for the black pudding)

256-260 Byres Road
Glasgow
G12 8SH

Wedgwood the Restaurant, Edinburgh

I wanted to find somewhere for a special meal in Edinburgh. Nothing too formal or ridiculously expensive but somewhere to enjoy a long leisurely dinner, three courses and plenty of wine.

My first couple of choices were out as we'd be in town on a Monday and they'd be closed. A spot of random internet browsing brought Wedgwood to my attention, and I was immediately attracted to their promise of fine dining without the pretentiousness, no table turning and a menu that read wonderfully well.

We were seated in the basement level dining room, a small, simple space given the impression of roominess by the mirror covering the entirety of the back wall. It was rather dark down there though, hence the atrocious photos in this post.

Good quality bread with a herb oil started things off nicely, as did a half bottle of a lovely ripe tasting Rias Baixas Albariño from a list with several wines by the glass as well as a few half bottles.

I began with nettle soup, poached quail's egg, blue cheese, crispy nettles. The soup was smooth, green, and enlivened by little bursts of tart creaminess from the cheese. I enjoyed this, though it was a little unexciting in comparison with the dish across the table.

AS had the stir fried shredded beef fillet, pear, rocket and spring onion salad, thai sesame and honey dressing. I tend to avoid Asian themed dishes in non-Asian restaurants, finding that they're rarely worth the effort. Underseasoned, unbalanced or just plain wrong. This wasn't. On the basis of the one mouthful that I ate it was utterly divine. Finely shredded almost tartare like beef, almost raw in the centre with just the hint of a browned crust adding savour, and a beautiful delicate, sweet nutty dressing. I'd gladly return to Edinburgh just for a plateful of this.

After the starters a palate cleanser arrived that was a contender for highlight of the entire meal. A shot glass containing raspberry puree and lime sorbet topped up with elderflower champagne and a raspberry. Amazing. A depth charge of bright, fragrant fruitiness. I love raspberries and I love elderflower so this was just a dream. 

It was a close run thing, but I reckon I won the mains. Wild scottish deer, creamed leeks, venison haggis, beetroot, basil pesto, truffle jus. This was the best piece of meat I've eaten in a long time. Seared perfectly on the outside and dark ruby red on the inside it was tender and deeply savoury. Combined with the haggis and truffle jus the whole was earthy, rich, very more-ish, and paired excellently with a peppery Rioja. I couldn't detect any flavour of basil but I'm not sure that I needed to.

Crusted mutton loin, braised neck, truffled goats cheese dauphinoise, nettle sauce, black pudding was also declared a resounding success. I didn't try enough of it to form an opinion, except for the black pudding which ended up on my plate, and that was delicious.

For pudding I went traditional; - very sticky toffee pudding with Caol Ila butterscotch. If I was being picky I'd point out that it wasn't actually that sticky, but that's an irrelevance as it was very good. Sweet and rich without being cloying, and served simply with top quality vanilla ice cream.

AS had the rhubarb and custard crème brulee, orange and ginger granita, rosemary syrup. I've no idea what this was like, so engrossed was I in my sticky toffee I didn't pay it much attention. There were no complaints so presumably it was good.

We shared a single glass of dessert wine that was offered to us in two separate glasses without our asking, and certainly ended up with more than the single 125ml measure that we'd ordered. This was consistent with the service we received all evening, which was completely faultless as far as I'm concerned. Friendly, unpretentious, attentive without being obtrusive.

Including service we paid £125 in total, not cheap but entirely good value for the standard of cooking and service. Bearing in mind that over £40 of that was on wine you could eat here for considerably less than that. Excellent, highly recommended.

9/10

Royal Mile
267 Canongate
Edinburgh
EH8 8BQ

http://www.wedgwoodtherestaurant.co.uk/

Banana Leaf, Glasgow

Glasgow's West End is a great place to eat Indian food. There are several restaurants and cafes all within walking distance of one another (and also all owned by the same people) that have served me some really fantastic food over the last few years. This meal at the Wee Curry Shop was wonderful, and prior to starting the blog I dined well at two of the Mother India places.

Banana Leaf, a budget South Indian cafe and takeaway in the same part of town (but not under the same ownership), has had loads of great press so I was hoping it would live up to the high expectations.

First thing to note: go elsewhere if you want a nice restaurant. This is very much a caff and takeaway, and a bit on the grotty side at that. Don't let that put you off though, budget South Indian places always seem to be a bit scruffy and none of them have poisoned me yet (and they did have hygiene certificates on the wall).

The food is cheap, and the menu predictable for anyone familiar with cheap and cheerful South Indian food. There are dosai, vadai, idly's, sambar, loads of curries and dry-fried dishes.

Being greedy and having not had one in ages I ordered a plain dosa (£4) as well as a non-veg set meal (£7.50).

I couldn't fault the dosa, it was thin and light without being so thin it crumbled to nothing. Just the right texture for scooping up the chutney's and sambar which were all good. Fresh, bright tomato and coconut chutney's and a deeply savoury sambar tempered with loads of mustard seeds and curry leaves.

The set meal included (clockwise from top right) more sambar, raita, mixed veg curry, chicken curry, chapattis and rice. I could have eaten the chicken gravy, sambar and rice all day, lovely stuff. The chicken curry gravy matched the sambar for savoury deliciousness, having a stock base built up from bone-in chicken. The rice was fluffy loveliness.

The veg curry was a little too sweet and watery and the chapattis were rubbish (thick, doughy). Forget the breads here and stick to rice or pancakes.

I enjoyed this, the only thing missing was a bit of a chilli hit. Everything was very mild for South Indian food. I'm sure the Glaswegians can handle a bit of spice so I'm not sure why it was all so toned down. Having said that if I had somewhere like this anywhere near my house I'd be in there once a week.

Pretty good for £13 including a soft drink and tip. It's also handily positioned just round the corner for pre- or post-curry beers at Brewdog Glasgow. Worth a visit.

7/10

76 Old Dumbarton Road
Glasgow
G3 8RE

http://home.btconnect.com/glasgowproperty/bananaleaf/banana.html

BarMC and Grill, Abode Hotel, Glasgow

At last a half decent hotel restaurant meal. I had high hopes for this one. I've never eaten in any of the restaurants that Michael Caines puts his name to, but had a general impression that he was a famous Chef who hadn't completely cashed in at the altar of celebrity. No embarassing endorsements, only intermittently on the telly, a two-michelin starred gaff that he might actually cook in himself and a small chain of hotel restaurants that seem to garner generally positive reviews for the food.

The Glasgow outpost is one of the more casually branded, bar and grill rather than restaurant, which is a fair description of the place in practice. It looked like they were definitely aiming for the weekend drinking market;- plenty of standing room, dimly lit with neon edges, dance tunes on in the background and drinks offers displayed prominently. All fine on a quiet Wednesday night but probably not much fun for a weekend meal.

The menu differed from the one on the website, suggesting it does get changed frequently, and was also short. I've never had potted shrimps before, so was pleased to see them on the menu. I've heard the dish described enough times to know this was a classic rendition. Tiny sweet brown shrimps, spiced with a little mace and set in clarified butter;- scooped onto delicate toast they were really good. A little more lemon juice would have been good though to give the flavours a lift.

Cod with chorizo and chickpeas in a tomato and mussel broth was pleasant, but not as described. The fish was nicely cooked and worked well with the broth which seemed to be flavoured only with the chorizo and tomatoes. There were definitely no chickpeas and I couldn't detect any mussel flavour in the broth. If mussels were involved I'd imagine they would have served a few in the dish too, there'd be no point releasing their juices to flavour the sauce then throwing the meat away. In place of mussels and chickpeas were vegetables, harmless enough but not adding anything to the dish particularly in the case of some mushy bits of broccoli.

The first two courses were moderately sized so I had room for dessert. The million dollar question where any chocolate fondant is concerned (as played out on Masterchef about twice a week for the last several years) is can they time it right so the insides are molten and lovely? In this case, yes. The fondant was very good but I wasn't a huge fan of the accompanying pain d'épices (spice bread) ice-cream which was too strong on the cinnamon for my taste. I'd have preferred something a little cleaner tasting to offset the richness of the chocolate (vanilla suits me fine). It was a good ice-cream though, and a subtle seasonal touch on the menu.

Overall I enjoyed this meal, it wasn't brilliant but each course had good points and it was far better than is often the case in mid-range hotel restaurants. Service was friendly and efficient, and prices are reasonable by hotel standards. Three courses with a large glass of wine will set you back around £30-£35 including service.

7/10

Abode Glasgow
129 Bath Street
Glasgow
G2 2SZ

http://www.michaelcaines.com/barmc-and-grill/glasgow

Scholars Restaurant, Barcelo Stirling Highland Hotel, Stirling

Someone in Stirling has got a nasty case of cheffy-itis. Hotels seem to attract chefs with this particular ailment. The most obvious symptom is a tendency to favour ridiculous presentation at the expense of sound cooking skills, which in turn causes the secondary symptom of charging far too much money for mediocre food. Last week during a work trip to Scotland I encountered a particularly serious case.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you scallops with Parmesan risotto, ham hock and pea puree. Before we tackle the food itself, let's discuss the vessel upon which it rests. It was a polished black marble tile, reminiscent of what you might find on the toilet walls in a glammed up Indian restaurant. Personally I'd have preferred a plate. Polished tiles don't tend to hold sauces very well.

The food, to be fair, wasn't all actively bad. Both scallops and risotto were reasonably well cooked, but the whole thing was too salty. The chunks of ham hock were salty, the risotto was salty, the bacon antenna (maybe I wasn't supposed to eat it?) sticking out of the risotto was very salty, and the pea puree was very salty indeed. Fortunately there wasn't very much of the pea puree, which could be best described as a pea wet skid mark on the right hand side of the tile. I'm not sure what the sauce on the scallops was, perhaps it was supposed to be a foam. Whatever it was it had split, resulting in unappetising fatty globules and watery patches shimmering on the tile as if someone were mopping it down at the end of the night. All told a bit of a mess.

I should note at this point that not everyones dinner was being served on a tile. Other people were getting plates. I can only assume the tiles must have been reserved for the specials, from which list my scallops were ordered. Those lucky enough to receive their dinner on a plate, however, were also lucky enough to have their dinner brought to the table under a cloche! Yes that is one of those big silver domes, as if this were dinner with the Queen.

Unfortunately the tiles made a return at dessert. A whisky cheesecake with bourbon soaked strawberries didn't contain any discernable whisky or bourbon, which was probably a good thing. I'm not sure what the strawberry (for there was only one, hiding at the back) had been soaked in, but it was so wizened it must have been soaked in it a long time ago. The cheesecake base was also past its best, being soft and mushy. No-one likes a soggy biscuit. The cheesecake filling was actually rather nice, being light and creamy.

Prices, as you might expect, were high. The two courses, a glass of crap wine and a small tip topped out at over thirty quid. The service was fine.

Why do so many hotels do this? It's as if there's a special checklist for rubbish hotel restaurants. Overpriced? Check. Overwrought, silly presentation? Check. Mediocre food? Check. Pointless service fripperies? Check.

Here's an alternative idea. How about: buy some good food, cook it properly, put it on a plate, bring it to me, charge me a fair price for it. Maybe one day it will catch on. Unfortunately I fear that's wishful thinking. Too many expense accounts, too many people are easily impressed, too captive an audience. I met two of those three criteria. I won't eat there again, but once is enough to keep the coffers ticking over.

4/10

Barcelo Stirling Highland Hotel
Spittal Street
Stirling
FK8 1DU

p.s. for an even worse hotel meal see here.

Terraces Hotel, Stirling, Scotland

I've just returned from a two night stay for work in Stirling, a rather attractive little city in central Scotland. Nothing much to report on the eating out front, Monday night I dined at a predictably poor chinese buffet restaurant, and last night I ended up in McDonalds (I was running late for the football, and couldn't find a pub with food and big screen TV). That's probably not a fair reflection of what Stirling has to offer, but sometimes dining alone in a deserted restaurant is too depressing to contemplate. Cold, wet Monday evenings in early March, in a small place, are not generally conducive to a lively atmosphere.

The breakfast offerings at my hotel are worth a quick post though. The Terraces is a fairly small, cheap townhouse hotel, the kind of place that can be a bit Fawlty Towers if you're unlucky. Fortunately it was much better than that, the rooms were spacious and clean, the staff were friendly without being overbearing, and the breakfasts were cooked to order. This morning I chose poached eggs, black pudding and potato scone.

The black pudding was great, lean and peppery with plenty of oatmeal. The egg yolks were runny as they should be, and the potato scone made a good alternative to toast. Toast on the side was rubbish though, as it was made with very cheap sliced bread. Buy better bread please and your breakfasts could be fantastic!

7/10


4 Melville Terrace
Stirling
FK8 2ND

http://www.terraceshotel.co.uk/index.html

Scotch Pie, A J Learmonth, Jedburgh

To cheer things up a bit after the last post, here's a pie:

and a very nice pie it was too. A warm scotch pie bought en route from Cumbernauld to Newcastle. I've only ever had a couple of scotch pies before and this was better than those. Just the job.

7/10

http://www.ajl-jedbutchers.co.uk/
Jedburgh

Club Bar & Grill, The Westerwood Hotel, Cumbernauld, Scotland

I travel away for work fairly often, and a recent restructure has extended my patch to Cumbernauld in Scotland  for the first time. I always try a few different hotels if it's an area I'll be returning to fairly frequently, and if nothing comes up trumps I end up back in a Premier Inn (reliably good, clean rooms/reliably good breakfast options/reliably rubbish evening food). First up in the Cumbernauld area on recommendation of a colleague - The Westerwood. It's one of those big corporatey/conferencey/golf spa type places but not all in a bad way. The rooms are rather lovely so if this were a hotel review blog it would rate quite highly. Unfortunately it's not.

The Club Bar & Grill (big, bland, corporatey, conferencey) was serving meals to an array of lost souls wondering what they were doing there on a Monday night. Or at least I was anyway. On perusing the menu I was foolishly lured in by the description of 30 day dry aged Orkney beef. I should have known better. These corporatey,conferencey,golf spa type places often have menu descriptions that flatter to deceive, I know this from experience. And so it proved.

Steak: rubbish

Rib eye steak, chips and tomato (£19.95) and an accompanying house salad (£2.50) were rubbish in just about every way. The steak was a damp, greyish, flabby specimen, with little flavour beyond salt. It had been cooked unevenly despite being uniformly thin (the alleged 200g weight seemed unlikely) so that one side was medium-well whereas the other end was the requested rare. The chips looked promising, but had somehow gone horribly wrong. They were a lovely deep brown colour, promising crispness, but in practice offered greasy limpness. I have no idea how they managed this, the only thing I can think is that they were fried to well done earlier in the day and then refried in oil that wasn't hot enough. The tomato was pointless. The side salad appeared to be dressed, as it had a sort of glossy sheen to it, but I've no idea what with as there was no discernable flavour. The bag of leaves it came from had probably been open some time as the cut ones were browning at the edges. Any redeeming features? No problems with the service and a glass of Malbec was fine.

A pretty terrible experience all told. If that steak was burning a £20 hole in my own pocket I would not be a happy bunny. Onwards and southwards, tomorrow night I'll be in Newcastle.

Oh and apologies to anyone reading this and wondering why I seem to be anywhere but the M62 corridor. I'll be spending a lot more time in Manchester & Leeds over the next few weeks so you may find something of interest if that's your area!

3/10

The Westerwood Hotel & Golf Resort
1 St Andrews Drive
Cumbernauld
G68 0EW
http://www.qhotels.co.uk/hotels/the-westerwood-near-glasgow.aspx