Ernie Beckett's, Cleethorpes

Have you ever been to Cleethorpes? Do you like a traditional British seaside resort?

If the answer to those questions is no and yes respectively, then you really should go. It's bloody brilliant. Every single stereotypical aspect of a slightly seedy, slightly downtrodden holiday town is there, in one coastal strip of wonderfulness. I really do mean that as a compliment. These places are unique in the world, and our coastline would be much the poorer if every seaside town looked like Padstow or Whitstable.

There's Mr Whippy, waffles with squirty cream and donuts five for a pound. Stale carpeted arcades housing tuppenny slots, grab a grotty teddy machines, vintage driving games and bingo. Crazy golf, a ferris wheel and a rickety rollercoaster. A sandy beach and a murky, distant, estuarine sea. Candy floss, sticks of rock and sugar dummies. Car parks, a railway terminus and vacant lots of waste ground in ought-to-be-prime locations. Sandcastles, grannies in deckchairs and a pier. Just the one stall selling tired looking crabs, cockles and seafood sticks, and fish and chip shops, loads of them.

Of course we had to have fish and chips, there was no debate. A few of the chippies had the unmistakeable lingering stench of stale fat, but many more looked and smelled appetising. Ernie Beckett's was pretty much a random selection.

The fish, a fat bobby-dazzler of a haddock, was very good. Flaky, tender, crisp batter. On this occasion I was even willing to forgive the fact that it hadn't been skinned.

The chips were better still. The photo doesn't really do them justice, but they were perfect. Lovely crunchy edges, meltingly soft centre. Pleasingly beefy from the dripping they were fried in. Excellent. The mushy peas were a bit too thick though.

We ate on the beach, the sun came out and we didn't get harassed by seagulls. What more could you want? Around a fiver for fish, chips, peas and a can of pop.

8/10

21 Market Street
Cleethorpes
Lincolnshire
DN35 8LY

Dispatches from Lincolnshire

I spent six days last month working in Lincolnshire; in Grantham, Boston and Lincoln. It's not a part of the world I know very well but armed with recommendations from helpful twitterers I managed to eat quite well. Here's what I ate in Boston and Lincoln.

Bizzarro, Boston

Bizzarro came recommended as 'the only decent place to eat in Boston'. I've no idea whether that's true or not, but it definitely was decent and a stroll round the streets didn't offer up much in the way of obvious competition.

It's an Italian restaurant with several dining rooms in a very old building in the historic part of town. There was a slightly eccentric air to the place, one the one hand it was fairly formal with starched linen tablecloths and top notch cutlery, on the other it seemed a little ramshackle (half the plaster seemed to have fallen off the wall on the staircase). Either way it was friendly and welcoming and I liked it.

We shared some nibbly bits and pieces with bread to start (these were rare work trips where I wasn't alone, making the dining out bit much more fun); olives, cheese stuffed peppers and balsamic pickled onions. All solid stuff and a cut above basic catering pack standard.

I had stuffed breast of lamb to follow, which was predictably fatty but delicious. The minced lamb, apricot and pine nut stuffing was too sweet for my tastes though, being a little too heavy on the apricots. The meal didn't come plated as pictured by the way, that's after I'd added vegetables from the generous and well cooked selection provided separately. The porchetta across the table was also declared a success.

Service was friendly and efficient and it's good value as well. Mains range from £10 to £18 including more roast potatoes and vegetables than you could eat, and the house wine is just £2.50 a glass. Nothing mindblowing but just the sort of reliable place you could return to again and again for a good meal.

7/10

23 Wormgate
Boston
Lincolnshire
PE21 6NR

www.bizzarro.biz


The Tower Hotel, Lincoln

I'm sure Lincoln probably has plenty to offer food-wise, but this time we didn't make it out of the hotel. That was a least partly intentional, as a bit of advance research suggested the place had a good reputation for food. We ate in the bar but there's also a more formal restaurant.

A few nibbles to kick things off again. Olives, sun-dried tomatoes and some very more-ish cumin roasted nuts.

Roast squash soup was very smooth and sweet, but just a little watery. I'm afraid I can't recall what the red stuff was, but it didn't taste of anything much (extra sweetness maybe?).

My dining companion's starter was better; - a confit chicken, savoy cabbage and chestnut spring roll. I'd have really enjoyed eating this in the depths of winter. The filling was moist and tasty, the skin crisp and greaseless. It was in essence a big, crunchy festive tasting roast dinner pie tube.

Next up was the rather complicated sounding burger (6oz Hand-made Minced Lincolnshire Beef Burger, Toasted Muffin, Rustic Chips, Stilton Mayonnaise, White Onion Marmalade, Sautéed Mushrooms, Celeriac Remoulade) which could have been great, but wasn't.

I'd asked how the burger would be cooked, and was told medium so left it at that. It arrived well done with just a tiny hint of pink remaining in the middle, rendering it a bit dense and rubbery. A shame really as the meat was good quality, with a good beefy flavour discernable above the strong tasting accompaniments. The stilton mayo and onion marmalade were very good though, with very sweet onions and the rich, cheesy mayo adding tanginess and a bit of astringency. The chips were just ok.

Service here was fine and the bar area lively and obviously popular not just with hotel residents. Prices are probably about average for higher end pub type food (the burger was £10.50). Everything we ate was good quality but the execution was a little hit and miss.

6/10

38 Westgate
Lincoln
LN1 3BD

www.lincolntowerhotel.co.uk