A Tyneside Special

Hidden away in the depths of Tyneside, an anonymous row of shops on an anonymous street harbours a secret. The local residents are in on it, but I doubt the news has spread much further than Wallsend. It's not a touristy part of town, Howdon. The secret is this: here be a GREGGS BAKERY OUTLET.

I thought such a thing only existed in my teenage dreams. I was a bit partial to Greggs in my youth, you see. Or rather to Thurston's as it was called in West Yorkshire back in the day. My standard order was a jumbo sausage roll with a side order of cheese and onion pasty, and if I was in the mood for dessert a jam doughnut or devon iced split for afters. Yum.

The idea of a discount pasty emporium would have been music to my ears, or at least a surfeit of fat, salt and sugar to my lips. I really would have been in dreamland. My Greggs addiction has faded over the years, I pay them a visit perhaps once every couple of months, usually when hungover, when only the salty pink-ish filth of a Greggs sausage roll will do the job. In spite of this I couldn't help but get a little twinge of excitement when I spotted the Greggs bakery outlet.

I imagined a regular Greggs, but with everything misshapen in some way or other. Colossal mutant pasties with pastry protruding at odd angles, or maybe double jammed doughnuts that would delight like a double yolked egg.

The reality wasn't quite so much fun. Lots of cold pre-packaged stuff, presumably manufacturing seconds, but indistinguishable from the usual product. Not much in the way of choice either, most of the stock seemingly comprising stottie cakes, chicken bakes and battered millionaire's shortbread offcuts.

My heart was set on a pasty, so it had to be the chicken bake (2 for £1). If only this was 1994 the excitement would have sustained, but in the cold, harsh reality of 2012 it was all a bit rubbish. Slightly limp pastry, wobbly sauce-based filling holding the odd chunk of protein, presumably chicken. An overriding taste of salt and disappointment. Not sure why it was an outlet offering, it was just the same as the full price quality controlled version as far as I could tell. Ho hum.

Further along the same row of shops you'll find the Chapel Bakery, purveyor of a true North-eastern classic, the ham and pease pudding stottie.

For those not in the know, pease pudding is made from boiling the crap out of yellow split peas forever (ideally with some ham stock or a ham bone), or at least until they form a uniform mush, which is then seasoned with salt and white pepper. Think of it as Geordie hummus.

This is then stuffed in a stottie, a large soft breadcake, like a huge oven bottom muffin, with slices of ham. In theory it's a splendid idea for a sandwich, but in practice this one was a bit overbearing. As with the pasty it was the salt that did for me. The ham was good quality but very salty, the pease pudding was whacked on in big chunks and was also very salty, and the bread was perfect for the task but I doubt it was lacking in the salt stakes either. I couldn't eat more than half of it before I was spitting feathers, and sadly the rest went in the bin.

There's loads of good food to be had in the North-east, but probably not so much of it in Howdon. Or in Greggs.

4/10
Greggs Bakery Outlet
Tynemouth Road
Howdon
Tyneside
http://www.greggs.co.uk

5/10
Chapel Bakery
Tynemouth Road
Howdon
Tyneside


Footnotes
1) Greggs is Greggs as opposed to Gregg's because that's how Greggs themselves write it. Blame them not me.
2) I have just discovered a new Greggs product: the chip shop chicken curry bake. My faith is restored.
3) Bring back Thurston's!
4) They should also bring back the 'got to get to Greggs' marketing campaign with the stoned chap on the posters. I liked that.
5) For more informative Greggs reviews, check out the (now sadly defunct by the look of it) Greggs Adventure: http://greggsadventure.com/.

The Castle, Wakefield

Pub Sunday roasts are something of a rarity for me. I used to eat them all the time but was usually left with a sense of disappointment, stuffed to the gills but not really satisfied, so in recent years I've rather given up. One or more of the crucial elements always underwhelms (overcooked meat, undercooked roasties, overcooked veg, stale Yorkshires, you get the picture).

So two roast dinners in the pub in barely more than a month is highly unusual round these parts, could The Castle's roast platter for two (£11.95 each) do any better than The York?

The first things to note are the Yorkshire puddings! Look at them. They unnerved me a little, putting me in mind of The Blob. Fortunately I think the heat had killed them off before they had chance to escape the oven and wreak havoc, but I made completely sure by smothering the bastards in gravy and eating them.

I quite enjoyed eating them too, though they were just a trifle past their best, in the way that pre-cooked and reheated Yorkshires always are.

On to the meat, the pleasant but not overly exciting triumvirate of beef, pork and turkey. Why no lamb? Why? Because you can roast half a tonne of boring turkey breast at minimal cost and with even less effort I suppose. Lamb is always a trickier prospect for volume catering. When will they invent a cow-sized sheep? Come on science, must try harder.

The turkey was predictably dull, the beef better, and the pork a pleasant surprise. Cut in thick slices from (I think) a rolled loin it was moist, packed with flavour and the best of the three by far.

The vegetables didn't disappoint being neither underdone (roast potatoes) nor over (everything else) and they also hid a little bonus cluster of pigs in blankets, which pleasingly were not made with lowest common denominator sausages. The whole lot held together well with a competent gravy, supplied separately in a jug of generous proportions.

We shared a pudding, which was a good job as it was gargantuan, a rhubarb and apple crumble (£5.50) easily suited for two. The crumble was a little bit dusty, more butter please, but the filling was good. Not overly sweetened, letting the tartness of the fruit shine through and mingle well with the creamy custard.

I enjoyed this. It wasn't perfect by any stretch, but the good things outweighed the bad. The bill came to around £35 including soft drinks and service.

7/10

343 Barnsley Road
Wakefield
WF2 6AS

http://www.thecastlewakefield.co.uk

The White Swan, Leeds

I like the Leeds Brewery pubs and bars, each of them is a reliable place for a drink or a bite to eat. Nothing mindblowing, but you know you can walk in at most hours of the day and expect to be fed and watered well.

This was just the case last Saturday. Original plans went awry and I was racking my brains for alternatives in that part of town. The White Swan did the job.

It's a standard pub food menu, there are burgers, sandwiches, sausage and mash, fish and chips and so on. All a little more expensive than your average chain pub but the food is better than average.

Mussels and chips for me. The mussels were plump and fresh, and not at all bearded or gritty. The leftover creamy, briney liquor kept me happily slurping away and dipping chips for an age. They would have been great chips (I'm not averse to skin-on once in a while) with an extra minute or so in the fat, they tasted lovely but were just a little on the floppy side.

A 6oz Steak across the table was also declared a success. I tried a bit and it was good;- pink, properly seasoned and rested. The accompanying chips were the same as mine, tasty but slightly underdone.

A side of onion rings were magnificent though, the batter light and crunchy and the innards sweet.

With a pint of I can't remember what and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, the bill was just shy of £30. Service was quick, the food enjoyable.

7/10

Swan Street
Leeds
LS1 6LW

www.whiteswanleeds.co.uk

Ho's Restaurant, Leeds

I had a monumental craving for noodles on Friday. I'm heading off on an exploratory pho mission this Friday, but just couldn't wait a whole extra week. Only a massive steaming bowl of noodles, meat and broth was going to satisfy. Ideally noodles of a substantial, carbolicious, chewy nature.

I'd noticed before that Ho's has an extensive menu in Chinese and wondered what delights it might be hiding beyond the standard stuff on the English menu, so thought I'd give it a try.

Things didn't get off to a very promising start, the conversation with the waiter going something like this:

Me: Is the Chinese menu different to the English one?
Him: Yes
Me: Has it got any noodle soup dishes on it?
Him: No
Me: Do you do any noodle soup dishes?
Him: Yes
Me: What?
Him: Duck or char siu or beef, thick or vermicelli egg noodle.
Me: (wishful thinking) Any hand pulled noodles or other noodles at all? What sort of broth? Any spicy versions?
Him: No. I can bring chilli oil.
Me: err ok, char sui and vermicelli then please.

When I say unpromising I don't mean to sound ungrateful, his English wasn't great and I think he was trying to help. Unpromising as I didn't think Ho's was shaping up to be the place of my noodle dreams.

So here's what arrived, and it certainly satisfied my craving. The noodles weren't brilliant, but were at least properly cooked so they retained bite throughout. The broth was a little one dimensional but still tasty in a generic umami sort of way. The char siu pork was the highlight, a generous serving, very tender and sweet, the marinade having permeated right through the flesh. A couple of stalks of pak choi rounded things off, providing a bit of colour and health.

Not bad, and reasonably priced at £7.50 for the noodle soup and £1 for a large pot of Chinese tea. There's a lot that warrants further investigation at Ho's though. They obviously don't specialise in soup noodles, but I'd like to know what's on the extensive Chinese menu, and I've a feeling all of the roast meats will be good. There's also a fairly extensive dim sum menu available at lunch and a bakery downstairs.

I grabbed a custard tart from the bakery on the way out, which turned out to be lovely. A light, eggy filling and exceedingly light, almost ethereal pastry. Really good. I'll definitely be back to sample the pork buns and the intriguing sounding sausage bread (as recommended by Jools, cheers for that).

6/10 for the noodles, but 8/10 for that custard tart


115 Vicar Lane
Leeds
LS1 6PJ

Johnny Fontane's, Leeds

FREEBIE ALERT

On Friday night I headed down to Johnny Fontane's, a new American diner soon to be opening on Great George Street. I was surprised to find they've occupied the large corner unit that was formerly Brio's. It's a very big restaurant, an ambitious place for an independent just starting out, and rather pleasing to see that the site hasn't been taken on by one of the usual chain suspects.

The restaurant has been kitted out in what I've decided to call diner moderne. There are classic diner stylings (red leatherette booths, Coca-Cola trays, the condiments), but with the plastic chairs, picture windows and sleek bar the overall look is more contemporary. Not sure what I'm waffling on about here, interior design is not my thing so I'll shut up before I look foolish. Whatever it is I like it.

Burgers are the order of the day. The freebie offer was any single burger, any side and any drink which will usually set you back a very reasonable £9.99. The invitation said I'd been invited to share a table with other food and drink bloggers which gave the impression of everyone being seated together, getting a bit of a speech from the owner and so forth as is often the case with these things. In practice it was a bit of a free-for-all, I did sit with some other bloggers but only because we turned up at the same time.

It's a semi-self service ordering system. Order food and drinks at the bar, receive a pager, when it bleeps collect your food from the service point. Perfectly fine in theory but things did go a little awry when the server forgot to give me a pager and my order ended up attached to the next one.

Teething problems with the service system aside, was the food any good? Yes it was. The bacon cheeseburger was the equal (probably better actually) of any other I've eaten in Leeds. The patty had a pronounced beefy flavour that wasn't overwhelmed by the other ingredients and was cooked medium as stated on the menu. The meat was definitely good quality, I'd have no qualms about ordering the burger medium rare or rare in future.

Those other ingredients were all as they should be in a classic burger; - just lettuce, tomato, plasticky cheese and crisp, streaky bacon. The only improvement for me would be the addition of pickles as standard, I didn't notice until afterwards that the menu does say these can be added on request. I guess they've decided that more people don't want pickles in their burger than do. No pickles! What's wrong with you people?

The bun was also high quality and held up well, not falling to bits as the burger was eaten. If I had one criticism it's that the bun was a little too substantial for the filling, but I'd easily rectify that in future by ordering a double.

The fries were delicious in a slightly filthy way, being of the sort that manage to combine crusty, crunchy bits with a touch of grease, as opposed to dry, rustlier frites. As with the burger patty, you could tell they've done their homework sourcing ingredients, as they had a great potatoey flavour, tasting of much more than the frying fat alone. I also sampled one of the onion rings, which was even more delicious than the fries, the batter crunchy, herby, salty and very more-ish.

The drinks list is also worth a mention, there are a few good American bottled beers, some British draft options (which hadn't arrived on Friday, but which will include Ilkley Brewery) and some top quality spirits (bourbon in particular) at very reasonable prices. I drank a Brooklyn Brown Ale which tasted to me like a sort of turbo Newcastle Brown, malty and a good match for the fries.

I'll happily return here and pay for food and drinks. As well as my own there were a few grumbles from others on Friday night (cold burgers, cold restaurant, burgers not consistently cooked and so on) but nothing that can't be ironed out through practice and experience. The food and drinks are all excellent quality, especially for the prices they are charging. I hope it's a big success.

For other perspectives (and better photos) from the same table check out what Neil and Ewan have to say.

Unit 1
40 Great George Street
Leeds
LS1 3DL

http://www.johnnyfontanes.co.uk/

Katsouris Cafenion, Bury

When considering the increasingly strident debate about the future of Leeds Kirkgate market, it's worth taking a little look at Bury. What irritates me the most about the situation in Leeds is this insidious idea that there are two implacably opposed sides.

In the red corner we have the saviours of the people's market, aiming to preserve the market in existing form in perpetuity, a haven of cheap goods for the deserving poor. Piled high, prices low.

In the blue corner we have the evil peddlers of 'gentrification', those who dream of plush, anodyne food halls for the well-heeled elite. A sanitised ciabatta, olives and fine wine emporium, the prices high, the tone higher.

As if it were that straightforward. There are plenty of valid points on either side of this debate, but turning it into some sort of class war isn't going to help. What with the national government being rather keen on this approach we don't need people joining in at a local level. Which brings me back to Bury, and in particular, to Katsouris.

Katsouris is a deli of some renowned. The Bury outlet is the original, but they've also branched out into ('gentrified') Manchester. Bury Market doesn't appear to be particularly gentrified to me, but here it is. A delicatessen piled high with olives and capers and ciabatta and cured meats, many of which are cheap but some of which (the horror) are quite expensive.

Bury market: sneering poshos eating caperberries. Possibly.

Adjacent to the deli is the Cafenion, and ooh look the theme continues here. There are sandwiches on quality breads, stuffed with quality meats, served with good, proper coffee. The prices are fair, not dirt cheap, but fantastically good value. Everyone eats and drinks here, from suited office workers to chain-smoking grannies, I'm not detecting any silly them and us segregation.

There's an extensive display of cold sandwiches, all of which look excellent, but I was drawn to the hot sandwich list. They are all available on ciabatta as either 'half' or 'full', and greedy pig that I am I couldn't resist ordering the full club sandwich.

The club: less than half of it is visible in this photo

It was absolutely enormous, at £5.40 I should have realised. That might sound like a lot, but it's really two or three sandwiches. I ate half of it and took the rest home for tea. Packed with good quality sliced chicken, smoked ham, cheese and stuffing it was a beast. The stuffing was a little unnecessary though, I'd give that a miss next time, but other than that a great sandwich. Meat, more meat and cheese, decent bread. Simple but effective.

The coffee hit the spot too, strong but not bitter and less than two quid for a large Americano. If you've not been before I'd recommend a visit to Bury market, there's plenty more to it than Katsouris alone. Be sure to get your hands on a black pudding barm while you're there.

8/10

Katsouris Delicatessen and Cafenion
23-25 Market Square
Bury
BL9 0BD


http://www.burymarket.com/stalls/katsouris/index.html

Pizza Express, Meadowhall

Pizza Express do seem to be popping up all over the place recently! The tried and tested formula of pizza, pizza and more pizza proving ever popular!

I had a craving for pizza the other evening so decided to give the Meadowhall branch a try. On arrival at the restaurant we were greeted and shown to a table by a friendly waiter. We were then offered menus and given the opportunity to order drinks while deciding what to eat.

I chose a glass of a Chianti, which was robustly flavoured and really yummy while my dining partner opted for the fresh and zingy Sauvignon Blanc. The restaurant itself is bright and airy, and we were amused to note that there's a projector TV screen on the wall that was showing Home Alone! What a great idea to keep the kids happy we thought!

After taking time to peruse the menu (so much choice!) we decided to have some olives, garlic bread and dough balls to start. The olives were totally amazing. So fresh and lovely and flavourful. What a beautiful green colour too.

The bread and dough balls were a carb lovers paradise, we were really hungry so it was ok. The garlic butter with the dough balls was melt in the mouth delicious, but it was very garlicky though, so make sure to share with someone who doesn't mind garlic!

For my main course I had a fiorentina pizza, which unusually had an egg on it. The combination of egg with the spinach and olives on the topping was surprisingly yummy and authentic. The pizza base was also nice and thin which is apparently down to the staff who make it themselves after twelve weeks training!

My dining companion declared her Gustosa Magica Leggera to be a great success. It's a pizza with the middle cut out and replaced with salad. Perfect for those with smaller appetites, and apparently the name means Delicious! Magic! Light! in Italian which is appropriate as it really reflected that.

We hadn't managed to save room for dessert (we will next time, they had some really decadent choices!) so asked for the bill which arrived promptly. It was about £37 which was quite expensive but the food was nice so we would come again.

A nice place for authentic, flavourful Italian food with lots of choice in a friendly atmosphere with nice service.

7/10

Pizza Express
Meadowhall
Sheffield