Sandwich Quest [volume 2]

Sandwich Quest wasn't really supposed to be about mass produced motorway service station fodder. That wasn't the plan. The intention was to seek out and report upon the finest filled breads the North (and maybe the Midlands) has to offer. Well that's still the plan, but I quite enjoy whinging on about the rubbish stuff too, so here's a bit of both.

Rest assured I have some better sandwiches stored up for next time. I really do, honest.

Salmon, cucumber and watercress on oatmeal bread, Marks and Sparks, everywhere

I'm lucky enough to have begun my life on the open road (i.e. job that involves loads of travel) after the arrival of Marks and Spencer's Simply Food at motorway services. They are a lifesaver, in occasionally genuinely quite good but often crushingly mediocre form. Before they arrived it must have been nigh on impossible to avoid scurvy if you didn't remember to fetch a pack up, given that the non-M and S options consisted solely of the major fast food players and those utterly shite hot food counters.

That was a very roundabout way of saying that I eat M and S sandwiches far too often. I quite like this poached salmon one, the filling is decent enough, but two things grate. One; the bread is pappy rubbish, and two; they harp on about their exclusive to M & S Lochmuir salmon. Of course it's exclusive to M and S, they invented it. It's their own bloody trademark. It's like Mars showing off about their exclusive to Mars Mars bars. Twats.

Bread 4/10

Core filling 7/10

Secondary filling 2/5

Sauces/condiments 3/5

Value 2/5

Service 2/5

S-Factor 5/10

Total 25/50

Strange burger thing, Subway, everywhere

Ok, ok, I know I'm really scraping the barrel with this one. I admit it, sometimes I eat at Subway. I know it has a weird smell and all the meats will probably give you colon disease in later life, but surely there's some nutritional value in all that salad. It has to be a better garage option than a Ginster's pasty doesn't it?

I'd normally keep it simple with a turkey and ham, but this time I was lured into a special, the name escapes me but it was essentially an elongated burger. Imagine a microwaved Danepak beef grill on a salad roll. Yummy. Extra jalapenos were vital.

Bread 3/10

Core filling 2/10

Secondary filling 3/5

Sauces/condiments 3/5

Value 2/5

Service 3/5

S-Factor 3/10

Total 19/50

Tuna and rocket pesto on granary roll, Pickles and Potter, Leeds

Back on track with something a little higher in quality. I'm trying to find the best sandwich places in central Leeds and thus far it's proving tricky to find anywhere that's consistently first rate. I don't think Pickles and Potter is that place, sadly. 

Their tuna and pesto sandwich was just a but run of the mill for the £3.70 price tag. The bread was very good but other than that it barely stood out from a £2 tuna mayo.

Bread 7/10

Core filling 5/10

Secondary filling 2/5

Sauces/condiments 3/5

Value 2/5

Service 3/5

S-Factor 6/10

Total 28/50

Filet-o-Fish, McDonald's, everywhere

Behold this and believe me when I tell you it is actually food. Not a toy rendered in plastic for a child's play kitchen, but actual food. Shiny.

For some reason you only get half a cheese slice in one of these. Seems a bit cheap. There's not a great deal of fish in the filet either, and god knows what it actually is? Pollock? Cod? Coley? Vietnamese river fish? Not a clue. The bread needs burger grease to make it viable.

Bread 2/10

Core filling 4/10

Secondary filling 1/5

Sauces/condiments 2/5

Value 2/5

Service 3/5

S-Factor 5/10

Total 19/50

Cafe Madras London, Reading

Right, let's get this blog back on topic. What you northerners really want to read about is a South Indian restaurant in Reading, yes? Reading in Berkshire you say? That's the one.

Not interested you say? Oh well never mind. Should you ever have the good fortune to find yourself in Reading, and in need of sustenance, you could do a lot worse than a visit to Cafe Madras London. Which is nowhere near London, being in Reading. I can only assume they named it that to get further up google search listings or something.

Anyhow it's a basic South Indian canteen sort of place, in exactly the same mould of countless others dotted around the country. There are wipe clean menus and tables, stainless steel beakers and jugs, slightly grubby facilities, and the usual range of spicy delights: dosai, idli, kottu, vadai and some very good curries.

The plain dosa was on the limp and flabby side, a bit of a let down really, but the liveliness of the chutneys and a particularly good sambar (sour and earthy all at once) on the side meant I ploughed through the lot anyway.

Chicken chettinad was a blinder of a curry; hot pungent and peppery, the kind of thing I could mop up with rice or bread indefinitely, forgetting my full up mechanism. Which is what I did, with some excellent coconut rice and a greasy in a good way, multi-layered parotta (these remind me a little of how a croissant might end up if you fried one rather than baked one). Only dry chicken breast meat disappointed, but it was largely incidental to the dish anyway (veg or mutton would be better bets).

With a cup of salt lassi and a tip, the bill was still less than fifteen quid. Cheap, quick and in parts outstanding food. Next time you find yourself with a couple of hours to kill in Reading (happens all the time I know) you know where to go.

7/10

73 Whitley Street
Reading
Berkshire
RG2 0EG

http://cafemadras.co.uk/

Wellington Fish Bar, Matlock

I'm immensely chuffed to report that my new local chippy is really rather good. The odds weren't really stacked in its favour: it's not in Yorkshire, or by the seaside, I don't think they fry in dripping and they don't serve haddock. Given that a combination of at least two of those things equates to my dream chip shop, the Wellington had to come up with some otherwise impressive goods.

Which it did, with some style. There may be no haddock, but there's also no pre-cooked fish sat sweating under heat lamps. Every cod (or plaice) is fried to order. I watched as my medium cod was filleted, battered and dunked in the fryer while I waited. An extra five minutes or so to stand around, but very much worth it.

The fish, a hefty beast a good inch and more in girth, flaked beautifully under its extra thin casing. I ate every morsel of the batter, not something I do often as I tend to leave the soggy underside.

Chips were rather more-ish, a gargantuan 'couldn't possibly finish it portion' imperceptibly disappearing as I repeatedly just had one more. Chips and curry sauce: standard. Check.

It's safe to say I'll be going back. Probably too often for my own good. Medium cod, chips and peas costs about six quid. Small would satisfy most. Don't order large unless you're a giant or excessively greedy.

9/10

26 Wellington Street
Matlock
DE4 3GS

Coffee outside the core

Just remembered I have a blog. Once upon a time I used to update it several times a week, with [exciting and informative] [rambling and tedious] (*delete as applicable) reviews of all manner of drinking and dining establishments across the north.

That's gone slightly awry for two reasons; firstly I haven't been eating out much, and secondly I've just moved to Derbyshire, which in case you hadn't noticed isn't in the north. So my blog is now both inappropriately named and lacking in subject material, which isn't a great recipe for success.

The upshot is that I did consider retiring it, but only for about ten minutes. Who cares if it's increasingly off-topic, I like writing it. Onwards and upwards then (or at least sideways, hopefully), to the subject of coffee outside the larger cities.

I know I can get coffee that I really bloody love in Sheffield, Leeds, Manchester and anywhere else you'd realistically term one of our major cities (London, Bristol, Glasgow etc). Beyond those? It seems to me to be more of a struggle. I can usually find somewhere good but not great.

Good is still a far better prospect than the chains though, whose general awfulness I was reminded of on my motorway travels this last week (boobie prize for utter shite goes to a Starbuck's flat white: burnt coffee, cheesy milk, wrong texture, almost three quid).

Here are two of the better places I've found. Both are good, neither are great. Suggestions welcome for great coffee away from the city?

Coffee Evolution, Huddersfield

A single shot cappuccino was a pleasingly small size and made with a dark, strong espresso blend. Bitter but not burnt. No flat whites on offer.

Coffee cake had properly buttery icing but was a bit dry. Good value at less than two quid for the coffee and around two quid for the cake.

7/10

9a Church Street
Huddersfield
HD1 1DD

http://www.coffeevolution.co.uk/

Peli Deli, Matlock

The sign above this place proclaims 'amazing coffee' which sadly isn't true. It's well-made, pleasant coffee but a couple of notches below amazing.

The flat white started with a good, velvety texture but reverted into latte territory before the too large cup was finished. Flavour-wise there's a hint of fruitiness, but it's too gentle and needs more oomph.

A mini Victoria sponge was a great little cake; moist sponge, fruit-packed jam and a generous wodge of buttercream. £2.40 for the coffee, £2 for the bun. Just realised I wrote about this place back in January, this time round it was better.

7/10

Crown Square
Matlock
DE4 3AT

http://www.pelideli.com

Hanover Street Social, Liverpool

Liverpool gave me the runaround this time last week, or rather, I gave myself the runaround in Liverpool. I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to eat, so long as it was good.

A vague inkling that Asian and spicy might be the way to go led me to the Maharajah, but the enormous void of the restaurant with just two couples hiding away in one corner felt too dispiriting for a solo dining session. I walked in through the door and straight back out again.

Where next, I thought? How about that Japanese place that gets consistently good reviews? A bowl of noodles wouldn't go amiss. So I traipsed across town to Etsu, only to find the reverse situation.They were so busy they couldn't fit me in. At least the traipse across town was a fine one;- Liverpool is really growing on me so I need to spend more time there (and less time on Knowsley Industrial Estate, chance would be a fine thing).

By this stage I was getting weary, I'd been up since five thirty that morning and was craving sustenance, so I gave up on Asian food and ended up in the vicinity of Liverpool One. If all else failed there'd be Salt House or Lunya.

I chanced on Hanover Street Social and remembered reading that it was run by the people behind Salt House Tapas, which seemed like as good an endorsement as any for a quality operation.

Sadly it didn't really turn out that way. It wasn't so much bad, as just a bit slack. I suspect this is a quality operation, but it was as if the B team were on duty for the Tuesday night lull and either couldn't really be bothered or weren't quite up to it.

The good bit first: tiger prawns and Colchester oysters can be had for just £1.25 or £1.50 each (a bit less for the half or dozen), so I had a couple of each. The oysters were spot on; bright, saline and creamy. Properly shucked too so as not to lose the juices. The prawns were also sweet and fresh if a touch overcooked, but went down a treat with very well made aioli and house ketchup.

The cheeseburger, offered cooked medium or well, was where it all went wrong. The burger itself had been overcooked into pointlessness, several stages past medium. It was dry, mealy and not really worth the effort. Why not send it back, you might ask. Well, sometimes I just can't be bothered with the hassle. I'm sure they'd have replaced it with something better without question, but sometimes when you've had a long day the extra ten minutes of time and effort doesn't seem worth it. Get the calories, cut your losses and leave.

Everything served with the burger was what brought to mind the description 'a bit slack'. All of it was perfectly edible but didn't inspire much enthusiasm. Limp fries, tasteless onion rings, catering pack relish and a big pile of undressed rocket. Ho hum.

As I've said I made no complaint, I ate most of the burger to fill myself up before bedtime, not that anyone actually went so far as asking me if everything was ok. I didn't really mind, it saved me the bother of replying 'fine thanks'. Other than that service was perfectly amenable.

Prices are reasonable for this sort of thing, or at least would be if the thing in question were done well. I paid just over twenty quid for the two courses and a glass of wine. I'm sure there's a quality operation lurking here somewhere, and perhaps on another day I'd have found everything wonderful, but a burger meal that was wrong in pretty much every way suggests something's not quite right.

5/10

16-20 Hanover Street
Liverpool
L1 4AA

http://www.hanoverstreetsocial.co.uk/

Northern Food on tour: Tapas in Malaga

Ever since a trip to Madrid a few years back I've been obsessed with tapas. Tapas done properly that is, a succession of snacks and small plates eaten with drinks, often standing at the bar or perched on stools in a series of different bars. Not tapas in the classic British style, rocking up at La Tasca in a large group, ordering the selection menu and sitting down to get stuck in for a couple of hours. That's a party finger buffet with more seats, not tapas.

Doing it properly is just so much fun. It's such a civilised and convivial way to spend an evening, far more so than the traditional Anglo-Saxon approach to getting pissed. Why not dine with your drinks throughout the evening, having a nibble of something quality here and there, as opposed to the 'segregated stomach lining dinner, neck a load of pints, booze soaking late night kebab' method.

To be fair to us Brits we've come along way in recent years, the concept of dining while drinking is hardly an alien one, but we've a long way to go to match the Spaniards.

On the impression of one half day visit, curtailed in the evening by the need to rise at four the following morning for a stupidly early flight (thanks, as ever, go to Ryanair), Malaga is a fine tapas city. I don't think you'll get the culinary creativity of the Basques or the sheer variety and value on offer in Madrid, but you will be fed very well for a fair price, and you will have a grand time.

I didn't make note of the names and locations of the places we went to, but it's not really necessary. Malaga has a fairly extensive pedestrianised central area that throngs with people in the evening. Just follow the crowds and you can't go far wrong. The atmosphere on the Friday night we were there was wonderful, festive and friendly without the slightest hint of unpleasantness.

Hotspots are around Calle Marquis de Larios (of gin fame, possibly), Calle Granada, Calle Alamos and on all the little alleyways inbetween.

Here are some of the things we ate. I should mention that they do sell green foods as well (you know, vegetables and stuff), it just seems that we forgot to order any on this occasion.

Mini sandwiches that were far more interesting than they look. Two each of asparagus mayo and jamon iberico with some sort of rich mousse. I'm sure it was called mousse de ca, but this doesn't seem to mean anything in translation? It was very smooth and rich, but not livery. Both flavours were delicious, and they cost 1.20 euros for two.

Bacalao (salt cod) blinis. I absolutely adore salt cod in anything, especially anything deep-fried. These weren't deep-fried, but were delicious anyway. The cod had been given a good soaking so it wasn't overly salty and was beautifully textured (imagine good, firm smoked salmon). 1.20 euros each.

Patatas bravas. Got to get the carbs in right? The spuds were expertly fried and the sauce had a good kick to it, though I prefer the tomatoey version to the creamy one here. This was a bit pricey as the place was a restaurant rather than a bar;- 5.80 euros for the racion.

Pinchos! One of pork loin with brie and sweet onion, the other of chorizo with fried quail's egg and roasted pepper. These were probably the best thing we ate, the star being the lovely tender pork loin. 2 euros each.

This was a bit of an accident. We ordered a half racion of what we thought would be shallow fried mushrooms (as in olive oil, garlic, herbs, that sort of thing) and what arrived was a whole racion, meaning a bloody big plateful, of deep fried mushrooms. It turned out that this bar was a freideria, basically a frying bar, where absolutely everything, and I mean everything, was doused in batter and deep-fried.

Not the most exciting plate of food, but I really couldn't fault the outstanding frying skills. To coat a load of sliced mushrooms in a thin, light batter and fry them until perfectly crisp and completely greaseless is no mean feat. Great beer snacks these. 4.80 euros for a full racion, and not much more for the seafood plates.

There didn't seem to be much in the way of freebies on offer in Malaga, but we didn't have the chance to dig very deeply so some of the more hidden away places may come up trumps. Free tapas were limited to crisps and olives where we got anything at all. At the bar pictured above the olives were gratis and the manchego tapa was 2.50 euros.

Drinks are consistently cheap by UK standards, a small beer costing around 1 to 1.50 euros and a glass of wine usually just under 2. Sherry of any variety is always a good bet, being extraordinarily good value in these parts (generally a few cents cheaper than other wine rather than a quid or two more). 

All in all you can return to your bed fully sated and suitably merry for twenty quid. Next time you visit the Costa del Sol remember that there's much more to Malaga than the airport.

Northern Food on tour: Self-catering in Spain again

I wouldn't normally choose to holiday twice in the same place in a matter of months, but thanks to the kindness and generosity of others we found ourselves heading off to Malaga once more for a repeat of last September's festivities.

I'm exceedingly grateful that we did because we had just as much fun this time around, but with the added bonus of a) not having all of our documents and stuff stolen, and b) my making a marriage proposal (accepted, thankfully). Good times.

On the eating and drinking front it was largely another self-catering affair, save for a pizza lunch in Nerja, a very average, touristy menu del dia in Granada, and a mini tapas crawl around Malaga (of which more later). We ate the same sort of thing as last time;- plenty of fresh fruit and salads to balance out the inevitable ham, bread and booze.

I'll not bore you with all the details, but here are a few things that were new discoveries or particularly good in spring rather than autumn.

The seasonal goods were all a month or two ahead of Britain, asparagus and strawberries being in particularly fine nick. We bought both in the supermarket, but later spotted strawberries growing locally and being sold at just three euros for an enormous box full.

As an aside it's interesting to note the lack of variety in the Spanish supermarkets, or at least what I perceived to be so. The number of fresh produce lines must be barely a quarter of what you'd find in the average British supermarket, but things are evidently much more seasonal. Asparagus and strawberries were in abundance in April, but were nowhere to be seen in September. Do we really need to be eating such things year round, expensive and air-freighted from Peru, or should we do as the Spanish seem to and gorge on them for pennies, but only when the right time arrives? On the other hand the lack of variety is definitely just that where some things are concerned. Good luck trying to get fresh herbs in a Spanish supermarket.

What is always readily available, and in wondrous, inexplicable variety in even the crappiest stores, is seafood. Especially shellfish. Bigging up Spain for eating seasonally and locally falls down completely when it comes to seafood, as they'll import the stuff from anywhere on the planet so long as it's good.

A bag of plump raw prawns were outstanding dunked in pungent alioli after flash-frying in olive oil with a good grind of salt and pepper. Beautifully sweet and perky, they were even good enough to make me eat a few Chinese-style;- sucking the juice from the heads. The cost of these little beauties? Seven euros something a kilo, which would be plenty for about six people.

My final and most exciting new discovery, and the one most fittingly Spanish given its use of delicious Andalusian booze, is Pedro Ximenez sherry as dessert ingredient. This is hardly a new idea, but the first time I'd got round to trying it.

Pedro Ximenez, or PX as it's commonly known, is the sweetest of all the sherry wines. It's thick, almost treacly with a complex, raisiny flavour. First attempt was PX poured straight over vanilla ice cream. Very good, but there was better to come.

A few recalcitrant plums were the only rubbish fruit we bought, with dry mealy flesh making it a waste of time eating them raw. Cooking a plum often works wonders though, so I quartered them and baked them slowly (they were in a medium oven for over an hour) with a generous pour of the PX. The result, served with more of the same ice cream, was divine. Tender fruit oozing syrupy, umber juice that was rich in dark, tannic flavour. Writing this is making me crave it now. If you see a strange man in Tesco late at night buying sherry, fruit and ice cream that'll probably be me.

This time around we did a little bit more sightseeing, visiting Granada and Malaga. The former really needs no introduction, the Alhambra is one major destination that absolutely lives up to its billing. It's stunning, just go.

Malaga on the other hand is a little hard done by, it doesn't always get the best press but is really rather lovely, especially on a Friday evening when what seems like the entire population is out on the streets enjoying themselves: talking, strolling and eating and drinking rather well. I'm going to write about that tomorrow.