Bacon Sandwich Quest: The Reckoning

2012 is done and dusted. Dawn has broken (twice given my tardiness in getting this written) on a new year, the world is looking forward and not back. The time for reminiscence has passed, where the last few days brought reflection, teary-eyed montages in print and on screen, henceforward is a fresh start. A blank canvas, time for resolution.

But wait. A year in review cannot be complete until the year is out. Bacon sandwiches pay no heed to the march of time, to our arbitrary full stops and delineations. A quest for the finest sandwich in 2012 would not have been a proper quest and true until the final seconds of the final minute of the year expired. The possibility of more bacon is ever present.

And so, here it is. The final reckoning. I set out to record every bacon sandwich I ate during 2012, and have done exactly that. As I noted at the start, the humble bacon sandwich really is worth celebrating, and I hope that's what I've achieved. It's been emotional, at times depressing, at others hugely greasily satisfying, often dull, mostly futile and usually pointless, but we've reached the end of our porcine road together.

There are just December's sandwiches left to review, and then at long last the winner can be announced. If you're already getting distracted and drifting off in the direction of more fulfilling reading material, then I suggest you look away now. December was a four sandwich month. FOUR. That's almost one per week statistics nerds.

First up, and giving weight to the theory that large chains can't make bacon sandwiches properly is this effort from the Upper Crust at Wetherby services. Overpriced (£2.99), under-stuffed with over-smoked, over-salted, overly American style bacon. Just not very good at all.

Secondly, and proving that you can't really trust a greasy spoon either, is a weak offering from a caff in a shipping container on an industrial estate in Speke. That's just round the corner from Liverpool Airport in case you were wondering. The cheap and nasty bread would be excusable but the flabby bacon and the weird tasting brown sauce are not, especially not at over two quid.

There's nothing worse on a bacon sandwich than the intrusion of some sauce imposter that doesn't even taste like proper brown sauce. It doesn't have to be HP, Daddies is quite nice, and even some supermarket brands are ok, but whatever it is it categorically must not taste like barbecue sauce. I went to Australia once, and they kept trying to offer barbecue sauce in lieu of brown sauce on the grounds that 'it's the same thing mate'. It fucking well isn't it.

Now I've got that off my chest let's take a look at a good bacon sandwich. An excellent bacon sandwich in fact. Ever since the early days of my quest people have been telling me to get my bacon on at The Greedy Pig in Leeds. I've eaten breakfast there so know they're good, but had never had their bacon sarnie until a couple of weeks ago.

The Greedy Pig bacon and mushroom was splendid, a real contender for the title. A good quality roll with a bit of texture to it, not the super-soft variety but not quite in Scottish territory either, and fillings verging on magnificent. Thick cut bacon with a good layer of crisped fat, salty but not overly so, and oooh what mushrooms. It's rare to get anything other than button mushrooms in a bacon sanger, but these were fat slices of meaty field mushroom and took the sandwich up to the next level. Excellent work, £1.90 for bacon, 40p extra for mushrooms.

Finally.... New Year's Eve. Last chance saloon for Bacon Sandwich Quest. The Breakfast Club in Spitalfields, London. A bacon sandwich in a restaurant devoted to all things breakfast, in a big city increasingly devoted to all things food. Surely this would be another contender for the title?

In a word, no. It could have been a champion, all the ingredients were in place, the long hours on the training ground complete, due care and attention given to the minutiae of elite level bacon sandwich preparation until the last, only for it all to go wrong with fatally flawed execution on the day.

The retreat into the chasing pack was caused entirely by the singular failure to apply much heat to the bacon. As if it had been sweated in the bottom of a damp oven, each of the four rashers (yes, four!) of good quality pig were rendered a damp squib. What a shame. £5 with a good coffee or freshly squeezed juice.

And that is that. Twenty-eight bacon sandwiches and we can have only one winner. You could cut the tension with an HP-smeared knife round here I tell you, so I shall keep you waiting no longer.

The winner of Bacon Sandwich Quest 2012 is.....

The Greedy Pig, Leeds

The judges (that's me by the way) praised the quality of ingredients used, the faultless execution, the great value and the rare attention to detail on display in the bacon sandwiches at the Pig. The decision was unanimous and the lovely people at the Greedy Pig are worthy winners of the inaugural (and final) Bacon Sandwich Quest.*

For those of you with an unwavering commitment to Bacon Sandwich Quest here is a link to each of the monthly posts followed by a photo montage of bacon-y goodness and last but least, the final leaderboard.

Introduction
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November

*Note to editors: I am available for public speaking about bacon or other topics at weddings, funerals, christenings and bar mitzvahs. I will write for money. All text herein is © Northern Food 2012-13 and cannot be reproduced without my permission. No animals were harmed in the production of Bacon Sandwich Quest (except for pigs). I will accept free bacon subject to terms and conditions.

May's Recipes, Leeds Kirkgate Market

I'd love to bring you a festive post about all the wonderful things I'll be preparing to feast on this Christmas, but unlike last year I won't be preparing a thing. Not even another pork pie.

Instead, I'm going to write about a Thai and Chinese food stall that's recently opened on Leeds market. Not exactly Christmassy, but it's good and they deserve a mention before time flies by and I forget.

You'll find May's Recipes right at the bottom corner of the (almost certainly) doomed part of the market, just inside the door opposite the multi-storey car park entrance.

I ordered a pad ka-prao; chicken stir-fried with holy basil and chillies. What arrived was a far better rendition than many restaurants serve, firstly as it actually contained plenty of basil for that all important hit of warm aniseed flavour, and secondly as it was absolutely enormous.

I'm not sure including about fifteen different vegetables in the mix is traditional, but it made for a very nutritious lunch, my 5-a-day must have been sorted in one hit. And finally what of the jar in the background of the photo? Prik nam pla, the classic Thai condiment of chillies in fish sauce, there is no better seasoning for rice, so mine received a liberal dose.

£5 for the stir-fry with rice. Another market opening serving good food at a great price, run by friendly people. Give it a try.

Merry Christmas everyone.

7/10

1976 Hall
Leeds Kirkgate Market
Leeds
LS2 7HY

The Great Barn Restaurant, Hardwick Hall, Derbyshire

Before we get on to the food, how about some architecture? Hardwick Hall is a magnificent building, just look at it. The windows are what really wowed me, the extensive use of glass is hugely impressive for something that was built in the 1590's, so much so that it reminds me of things built 300 years or more later, like early modern buildings with its clean lines and restraint in ornamentation. I actually think it looks a bit like Glasgow School of Art.

If this sort of thing interests you I'd definitely recommend a visit, and while you're there you might want to lunch at the Great Barn restaurant, and if you're lucky it might be a good lunch.

Our lunch was good in parts. The long-stewed pigeon, pheasant and rabbit in a game pie was held in an intensely meaty stock, heady with bay, and a lamb stew also tasted great.

Less good were accompanying 'winter vegetables' which included, amongst other things, sugar snap peas. Mmmm wintry. Surely some root veg in addition to the carrots would have made more sense?

I said if you're lucky you might have a very good lunch here, but on the other hand you might not. It feels a bit harsh writing negative things about a restaurant run by a charity (which the National Trust is of course), but if they're going to big themselves up then they deserve to be held to it. 'Creative vegetarian options' is what it says online. Sorry but a potato and aubergine bake comprising slices of aubergine, undercooked potato, undercooked peppers, whole cloves of virtually raw garlic and loads of tinned tomatoes all under a slick of melted cheese does not add up to a 'creative vegetarian option', 'rubbish vegetarian option' would be more apt.

Rhubarb crumble and custard was also poor. First time around it arrived cold, as in actually not even a little bit warm, second time around it was hot but under-sweetened and not very crumbly.

The meat dishes were good, the other things weren't. Service was a bit slow but they were exceedingly busy.   For purposes of comparison, the veggie dish aside, you'd be happy enough with a pub serving food of this standard for under a tenner, as it is here. Visit Hardwick Hall, eat at the Great Barn restaurant, you might be lucky.

6/10


Hardwick Hall
Doe Lea
Chesterfield
S44 5QJ

http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/hardwick/

Noodle Inn, Sheffield

I'm on the hunt for really good Chinese food in Sheffield, I'm sure it's out there somewhere as there are plenty of options and what looks to be a sizeable Chinese community in the city.

So far what I've eaten has been uninspired, so given a good few recommendations I'd received for the place I had higher hopes for Noodle Inn. It's hard to tell after just one meal, especially when dining alone with little opportunity to give the menu a good going over, but I'd say it just about delivered.

The Sichuan section of the menu warrants the most attention, as apparently they have a chef who hails from there, but there's also a great long list of Cantonese stuff and even a separate dim sum menu.

Beef flank with noodles in Sichuan hot and sour soup was a monumental bowlful, so much so that I barely got through more than half of it. The meat was the star here, whacking great hunks of gelatinous long braised stuff, intensely beefy and worth the effort taken in prising every morsel from it's protective layer of wobbly fat.

The broth, in comparison, was disappointing. It was a bit one dimensional, sour with plenty of chilli heat but not much else to offer, and only the merest hint of Sichuan pepper numbness (though perhaps that's all this dish is supposed to have?) The noodles, which I think were a potato starch variety, were good and sturdy, but not really my favourite type being overly glutinous.

A side order of steamed prawn dumplings from the dim sum menu were slightly overcooked, the skins just starting to stick a little, but the sweet, bouncy prawn filling was spot on.

The bill was just £11.90 including a soft drink, and there's free ice cream for afters if you want it (I didn't, it was pissing icy rain outside and I was in a hurry). Service wasn't exactly enthusiastic but everything arrived promptly enough. On the whole this was good, and the menu definitely deserves further investigation. I'll be back.

7/10


156 London Road
Sheffield
S2 4LT

http://www.noodleinn.co.uk/

Good things to eat [Volume 14]: in praise of weekend breakfast

Is there a finer meal than a weekend breakfast?

Eating on a working morning is a perfunctory matter, little more than essential fuel intake for the day ahead. For me, in winter, that means microwaved porridge or occasionally toast, and in summer muesli or granola with a blob of yoghurt. These are not unpleasant things, but taken in haste, at a desk or on the hoof, eating them will never be a pleasurable experience.

I wish it wasn't so, but that's part of what makes breakfast on rest days so wonderful. They are special, the exception not the norm. I'm not talking about dining out for breakfast here, that's an entirely (although almost as fantastic) different thing, I mean breakfast at home, prepared in your own kitchen, ideally with the radio on and a pot of tea brewing. The opportunity to take time, to give it some thought, to make something lovely at leisure and then eat it on the sofa, in the garden, or best of all, in bed.

What are your favourite weekend breakfasts? I was aiming to write a top ten of mine, but I was struggling to keep the numbers down so here are twenty.

1. Stewed butterbeans with tomatoes and chives. Served with fried eggs and pitta for scooping.

2. You won't get one of these in Maccy D's. Black pudding and egg muffin. Cook your egg in a biscuit cutter for that authentic 'processed fast food joint' look!

3. Fried chorizo with tomatoes on sourdough toast with fried eggs. Make sure you get lots of crispy edges on your chorizo, then fry the eggs in the red fat that's leached from the sausage.

4. I'm not averse to a sugary breakfast for a change to all the porkiness. How about pancakes stuffed with greek yoghurt, banana, honey and toasted walnuts?

5. Anything shakshuka style always goes down a treat. A big pan fry of tomatoes, eggs and whatever tickles your fancy. In this case beans, chilli and coriander.

6. Staffordshire oatcakes are excellent breakfast fodder. Nuttier, earthier pancakes filled with bacon (or spam), mushrooms and cheese. Just the job to set you up for a twelve hour shift firing pots... or a long walk... or a day in the pub.

7. Reckon you need to squeeze all the liquid and starch out of potatoes before making rosti? Not necessary, just grate the potato directly into a good glug of very hot oil in a frying pan, then press it into a cake with a metal spatula. It will splutter and hiss, but the heat will quickly drive off the excess moisture and you can fry away happily. Good with any savoury breakfast things, in this case egg and pudding.

8. Holiday breakfast, or hot British summer breakfast (ha ha). Croissants, fresh fruit, sunshine.

9. This one is here to represent anything with Nutella in it. I don't care if it's basically chocolate flavoured vegetable oil, it's utterly delicious. Eat on pancakes or croissants or crusty bread or soft bread or crumpets or muffins or toast or porridge or yoghurt or anything at all.

10. Bacon sandwich. Have I mentioned bacon sandwiches before? They are quite nice.

11. A middle eastern themed plate of scrambled eggs, tomatoes, yoghurt, pickled chillies and parsley. Needs flat bread for scooping. Fresh, lively and surprisingly good for a hangover.

12. The communal Daddy-fry. Lots of people and a massive pan and all the pork products = a very good idea.

13. Holidays or warm weather again. This time with added jam, yoghurt, juice and coffee. Bliss.

14. Early autumn fruits lend a different taste to the pancake and yoghurt combo. Fried apples and plums.

15. Bubble and squeak with the works. Leftover mash with pretty much any green vegetable (except lettuce, don't try it with lettuce) makes a good bubble. Always finish with a knob of butter for that burnished crust.

16. An acquired taste, but once you've acquired it you'll never lose it. Soft boiled eggs with anchovy toast. Mash a couple of anchovies into a large knob of butter then spread it on hot granary toast. Dip into your eggs. Heaven.

17. A dirty great sausage muffin with ketchup. I like to split the sausages just as they're served so the juices run into the muffin.

18. Plums often undergo a magical transformation when you cook them. Boring, mealy-fleshed eaters can be turned into tart, crimson-juiced wonders with a little heat and sugar. Serve simply with thick yoghurt.

19. The carbo-licious hangover cure. Sometimes bread alone is not enough. Which is when a cheesy scrambled egg, potato waffle, bacon, mushroom and tomato sandwich comes into play.

20. Plain old eggy bread with ketchup. Sometimes the simplest breakfasts are the best.

Castle Chippy, Castle Market, Sheffield

You'll find the Castle Chippy, appropriately enough, within Sheffield's Castle Market, another traditional market that's been the subject of controversial redevelopment plans in much the same vein as Kirkgate in Leeds, and a whole host of others in recent years.

In the case of Castle Market, it seems the battle for preservation has already been lost, with plans to knock it down and build a replacement at the other end of the city centre being well advanced. For the most part the existing market is a post-war concrete behemoth, an interesting and functional period piece as far as I'm concerned, but sadly lacking in the listed Victorian splendour that would have assured its future.

Tempting as it is I'm not going to rattle on at length about this market, I am supposed to be writing a post about fish and chips after all, but if you are interested in what it has to offer I'd suggest reading this, this or this, all informative stuff written by Clare from Feast and Glory.

Right, so there's a chip shop in Castle Market, and it's really very good. A rare cod and chips (unlike most of Yorkshire haddock isn't standard round these parts) was a great success. Thin batter, chunky pearlescent flaking flesh, fresh tasting. 

Chips were pleasingly beefy with some nice crunchy bits, but some could have done with a minute or two longer in the fryer. A steal at £3.40. Pay a visit while you still can.

8/10

25 Castle Market

Sheffield

S1 2AG

Mint and Mustard, Cardiff

I really ought to have given the website for Mint and Mustard, an upmarket Indian restaurant in the Cardiff suburbs, more than a cursory glance before dining there. Had I done so, I'd have realised that they specialise in Keralan food, and wouldn't have ordered a whole load of North Indian stuff.

Being a bit hungover I was in the mood for a lamb-based feast, when seafood, vegetables and even pork or beef could have been a better plan. Or would have been a better plan, as most of what the others in our group of six ate was better than what I did.

After some poppadums and pickles, complimentary after we had to wait a few minutes for our table, seekh kebabs and onion vadai (in this case the same thing as what most curry houses would call a bhaji) to start. These were just ok, being a good demonstration of the pitfalls of 'posh Indian' restaurant food, in that they looked pretty but tasted dull.

The kebabs were nicely spiced but needed salt and seemed to have been cooked without resort to anything very hot. Surely the whole point to Indian grilled meat is the generous application of fire, spice and salt? Other starters of lamb,venison and prawns in various guises were all declared a great success.

Saag gosht and chicken makhani were both competent, flavour packed dishes. The lamb had a slow-burning, building warmth, and the makhani was smooth, rich and sweet with fenugreek. They weren't half as exciting as what was going on elsewhere on the table though, I got to sample the lot and first mouthfuls suggested there might be some genuinely great food on offer here.

The sauce (pollichathu?) on what I think was a fat hunk of swordfish had an intense flavour that belied it's thin texture, dense with the savoury funk of curry leaves. I'd have drunk it in pints given the opportunity. Another fish dish, sea bass with a tart, bright moilee sauce was almost as good. I wasn't quite so enamoured of a dum pukht biryani, although it tasted great I thought the rice was a bit wet.

There are a whole host of European styled dishes on the menu too, European in the plating sense: large slab of protein, mound of carbs and some veggies on the side. I was suspicious of these, with their various Indian-spiced riffs on the mash theme, but a mouthful of the most succulent, precisely cooked piece of pork, the best bit of meat I've eaten in a while, convinced me they could be worth a shot. Sadly I didn't try the accompanying cassava mash, so whether that was an inspired or daft idea I'm not sure.

Sides of pilau rice and a very light, crisp naan were exemplary, as was service throughout the meal. Including a bottle of wine and six or so beers the bill came to around twenty seven quid each before tip, which seemed reasonable for the quality of the food. Well worth a visit, just remember to head South when making your menu choices. My rating could well have been a couple of points higher had I done so.

7/10


134 Whitchurch Road
Cardiff
CF14 3LZ

http://www.mintandmustard.com/